The lack of childcare (both kids have been home since May 22 and will only start preschool mid September...!!!),unpacking, re-arranging and traveling to my homeland Austria have led to a much longer silence on the blog than I ever wanted. However, the break was also necessary. Disruptive times transform me into an introvert. Emotions go up and down and I fear that they will influence my writing too much. Could make me write things that I could regret later on. Sometimes it is just necessary to shut up and deal with all your feelings without blurting them out into the world, I guess.
The months before our move back to Europe, or almost the last two years in Alabama have left me feeling rootless and restless,questioning where I belong. Coming back to Stuttgart, a city that I have lived in before but always had a bit trouble connecting with, gave me an emotional up (the "honeymoon phase" as expats call it) in the beginning, mainly fueled by my overall homesickness for Europe but soon let to a down. Yes, we were back in Europe but I wasn't MY home. It took over two months for me to finally get to MY home, the city I was born in, the city my family and my old friends all live in: Vienna. I spent almost a month there with the girls and feel a lot more grounded now, my European roots are slowly growing back...
Now back in Stuttgart, I still haven't fully arrived but these new, German roots will grow, I am sure. It will take time, they will grow slowly, but they will.
I am back to blogging!